How To Break Free From Overthinking
Sometimes the hardest part isn’t what’s happening. It’s what’s happening in your head. If you’re someone who overthinks, replays, or tries to prepare for every possible outcome, you’re not alone. I’ve written something honest about overthinking - and how to gently break the cycle when it starts. If that sounds familiar, go have a read 🤍
I’ve always had a busy mind.
Even when I was younger, I’d lie in bed replaying conversations.
Thinking about what I’d said.
What I should have said.
What might happen tomorrow.
What could go wrong.
For a long time, I thought this was me being prepared.
If I thought it through enough, surely I could stop it happening.
If I imagined the worst-case scenario enough times, maybe it wouldn’t sting if it came true.
Maybe I’d be ready.
But that’s not how it works.
Overthinking things isn’t preparation.
It isn’t protection.
It doesn’t prevent anything.
All it really does is pull you out of the present and into a future that hasn’t happened.
And most of the time, won’t.
I see this a lot in the women I coach too.
They’re thoughtful. Reflective. Self-aware.
But their minds don’t switch off.
They replay conversations.
They overanalyse decisions.
They try to mentally “solve” situations that aren’t even real yet.
And underneath it all is usually one thing:
A need for control.
Or safety.
Or reassurance.
When life feels uncertain, the mind tries to take over.
“If I think about it enough, I’ll feel safer.”
But thinking something over and over doesn’t make you safer.
It just makes you exhausted.
One of the most helpful shifts for me was realising this:
Just because a thought appears, doesn’t mean it’s true.
And it definitely doesn’t mean it’s useful.
Now, when I catch myself spiralling, I gently ask:
Is this helping me right now?
Is this actually something I can control?
Or is my nervous system just trying to feel safe?
Sometimes that pause alone is enough.
Sometimes I’ll breathe.
Sometimes I’ll write it down.
Sometimes I’ll consciously choose a more balanced thought.
Not a positive affirmation.
Not pretending everything is fine.
Just something more grounded.
Something like:
“I don’t know what will happen. And I’ll deal with it if it does.”
You don’t have to live at the mercy of your thoughts.
You can notice them without believing them.
You can question them without judging yourself.
You can choose which ones get your energy.
Your mind is powerful.
But so are you.
And the goal isn’t to stop thoughts altogether - it’s to stop letting them run the whole show.
A Simple 3-Step Reset When Overthinking Kicks In
When you notice yourself going round and round in your head, try this:
Notice It (Without Judging It)
The first shift is awareness.
Instead of getting frustrated with yourself, just name it:
“I’m overthinking this.”
That alone creates a tiny bit of space.
You’re not broken.
You’re not dramatic.
Your nervous system is just trying to feel safe.
Awareness softens the spiral.
Separate Facts From Stories
Ask yourself:
What are the actual facts here?
And what am I adding on top?
For example:
Fact: They haven’t replied yet.
Story: They’re annoyed with me.
Fact: I have a big meeting tomorrow.
Story: I’m going to mess it up.
Most overthinking lives in the story, not the fact.
When you gently pull them apart, things often feel less overwhelming.
Come Back To What You Can Control
Overthinking usually focuses on what might happen.
Instead, ask:
Is there anything I can do about this right now?
If yes — take one small action.
If no — bring yourself back to the present.
Breathe.
Feel your feet on the floor.
Look around and name five things you can see.
Then remind yourself:
“I’ll deal with it if it happens.”
You don’t need to solve tomorrow at 10pm the night before.
Overthinking feels productive, but it’s usually just your mind trying to create certainty where there isn’t any.
You don’t need more control.
You need more grounding.
And that’s something you can practise!
Work on the things people can't take away from you.
This is how you become unstoppable.
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